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Archive for May, 2009

I don’t have time but….

Posted by footstepsonmyheart on May 18, 2009

I really feel like writing. My house was a total disaster yesterday and my sweet and loving husband cleaned it for me. Why is it that one morning of getting kids off to school can trash a house so quickly? Also why is it I can do 10 loads of laundry and still have more to do the next day? I think we have too many clothes….for real. I’m thinking of having my girls get rid of half of their clothes. Also, maybe this is disgusting, maybe not but I feel you can use a towel more then one time and can wear jeans/pants more then once so long as they aren’t too dirty. Instead of lazily throwing it in the basket for mom to do. I’m also thinking Mikayla is old enough to start doing her own laundry. Recently I’ve got some work to do with my older children on cleaning up after themselves. They used to be so good at it and now….not so much. I suppose it’s like all things unless you are right on top of it good habits can slide.

I"m typing while Gabriel is sleeping in my Ergo carrier, we’ve been using a sling but he’s not a huge fan once he get’s sleepy. Also I always seem to manage to do I’ve created a baby who can’t sleep without mommy. I feel all children that are adopted go through the attachment phases right now he’s in "anxiouse attachment" and watches to see where I am and needs to be reasured that I will always be here. Not to mention that I feel strongly in baby wearing out of principle. I don’t let my babies cry it out….that’s just me. I have mommy friends of bio kids who do and their children are happy well adjusted kids. I personally can’t do it and don’t want to.  The downside of the Ergo is that it fully displays my lovely extra fluff and droppy boobs. Oh well 😦 until the rest of this weight and my much dreamed of tummy tuck and breast lift I’ll just have to not worry about it because both my back and this baby LOVE the Ergo carrier and E is not being jealous of it as par his usual reaction to watching baby be carried in something he feels is HIS carrier. It has a "sleepy hood" so when he falls asleep I can just snap it on, I do worry Gabe doing the splits around my ample middle cannot be good for him, but he doesn’t seem to mind it. I can clean, type, and prep-cook (I don’t do the hot stuff) really this is just awesome!!! He loves to look up in my eyes while in the Ergo and seems content happy where as with the sling he was not having how squishyness that is what I can surmise as to why he hate dit. Also it was throwing my hip to one side and aggravated my old lady back issues so….we have moved to the Ergo.  In public I suffer us both with the sling, I know I’m vain, but it’s cute and it HIDES my fluff and droopy boobs :). And he likes it when he is awake and can look out….just not when he’s sleepy and I try and tuck him in, nope not a fan.

Everett got in to the pre-K which is a whole blog entry in of itself. Basically they put his I.Q. in the 70’s, blah! I’m seriously PO’d at that one and went off on them when I was told. First of all he wasn’t cooperating with the tests, could not focus, and was in a nut shell acting like a crazy man, so how did they exactly come up with those figures? Everyone who works with him on a regular basis (not just his mom) knows he is bright!  Anyway, oh well, it got him into the special Pre-K….it’s not a permanent assessment. I’ll get over it. Also his behavior has improved remarkably. He went from I couldn’t to anything to work with him to normal E-I attribute this to Fish oil, I know it sounds crazy, but its the only thing that we changed and I’m here to tell you I am NOT into that sort of thing, I mean I’m okay with some holistic ideas but mostly I think it’s out there…ya know, I’m sorry for my readers who do believe. I think it stems from my mom always pushing this type of stuff on me and my brothers and not ever feeling there was a marked difference compared with mainstream medical help. Anyway I also don’t like him being overmedicated on steroids for his asthma/allergies. So now that this fish oil worked a miracle my mind is opening.  He is talking more, he is concentrating more, he is able to think through things rather then act totally on impulse. I wouldn’t have believed it if somebody had told me what a difference it would make in him. We can go out in public now-honestly was scared to for the past 2 weeks. There is a Chiropractor a city away from us that works with peds kids with asthma. I’m going….because most of the time I don’t have to put him on Steroids but when I do, he turns into psycho E and that is not fair to him. If there is something that can help him breath that is NOT strong meds I’m going to look for it from now on. I’m not going to be weird about it and let his breathing get out of control but I’m ready to try and help him in every way. One of my dear friends is certified in reflexology and while I do feel this is "out there" I’m also going to be seeing her with E man she feels she can help him with his asthma and his behavior issues. I figure it’s not going to hurt him, why not? THey wanted to put Eman into the summer program because he is so severely delayed in some areas (this really pisses me off-haven’t I been having him evaluated and asking for help all along and early intervention has told me he is NOT delayed!!!!???, didn’t they also tell this to his first foster family!!!???) thanks EI for nothing….grrrrrrrr. Sorry rant over. Anyway we’re going to be gone for 5 of the 7 week program and so they did not end up putting him in for the summer. I will continue with our ot/pt twice a week and what I do at home. Also we will be swimming every day it’s possible so he’ll be getting a lot of that large sensory input (swimming is therapy for E man), his sister will be home and they give him the extra stimulation I just can’t-they both adore him and treat him as if he is the prince of the universe. The GREAT news is that my son is FINALLY getting HELP!!! Starting in September he will be in a fabulous integrated pre-K program!!!

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Fish oil is magic….

Posted by footstepsonmyheart on May 11, 2009

So I’m willing to try just about anything. Two of my friends have told me about this liquid fish oil from Norway that worked wonders for their sensory/ADHD children. One of my friends felt it “cured” her son. I thought she was smoking something. The other friend who’s son has the exact same diagnosis and behaviors as Everett (how blessed I am to have her in my life) said it significantly helped her son. I’m a skeptic about things like this but…you know we’ve had a few horrible weeks. Guess what!? After spending $50 for one bottle of very expensive Norwegian fish oil and immediately going home and dosing E man I am a believer.

Also btw E can’t taste it-wonders of wonders, memories of my Grandmother giving me codliver oil running through my head as I opened the “Orange” flavored bottle not believing it actually did not reek of fish and thinking no way is Everett going to take the nasty stuff. Anyway it really does smell and taste like orange I put it in a shot glass with a little orange juice and he drank it up. We were having typical (as of late) behavior issues all morning long and were on our way out the door to a b-day party. Everett was raging because he wanted to open the present and keep it for himself and actually grabbed it and ran while I chased him down. I asked him if he wanted to go to the party or not, he said “no”. It was a superhero party, costumes drive his sensory self up the wall and I already knew he wouldn’t wear the cape I had made him and the batman mask but I made it anyway hoping he might when he saw the other superheroes. He picked out spiderman floaties (like for swimming) and wanted to wear those. Fine….but then that morning it was apparent he wouldn’t make it through the party. He screamed 20 minutes there. Then suddenly it was like a magic wand had been waved. He stopped screaming, started TALKING about the b-day party for 10 minutes. We get there he gets out of the car sees all the other boys dressed up in costumes and asks me for his BATMAN costume, he puts on a mask!!! Holy smokes I was mad I didn’t have my camera, then he puts on the cape. If his cape came off he wanted it back on. He stood in a line, he waited for his turn in all of the games, he only needed one redirection (honest to God this is a miracle for E man), there were other children melting down-which I understand-but for the first time in our life it wasn’t E, he was appropriate! He was still Everett, amazing physically, faster then the other kids, more daring, all that makes him who he is 🙂 but it was as if this bundle of nervous energy had disapated before my eyes. Lately I could see him simmering ready to explode and know that at any moment there would be a meltdown and that I was helpless to prevent.  He did try to blow out the candles during the birthday song but hey he’s 3 years old and when I prevented him from doing so he threw himself on the ground-typically this means a knock down drawn out fit, specifically recently, instead he picked himself up and was happily waiting for his slice of cake. He is also sleeping again! And then Sunday was a repeat of amazingly good behavior. He had his best day ever at church. One hour of sitting still is impossible for most 3 year olds and for Everett it’s just been torture. We don’t usually make it more then 20 minutes before having to leave the room and do other things. I bring things for him to do, its not as if I force him to sit there and listen, I also bring snacks. Anyway he made it one hour for the first time EVER!!! Not only did he make it one hour he played with his toys for one hour-the same toys. This is a first for him. He also played ONE game at a time yesturday!!! In addition toa ll of this he got massive compliments from his Nursery teachers, things like “he sat for snack time, he listened and participated in music time…” I’ve never heard this before about Everett. It was the best mother’s day present I could have received. We went to my in-laws this is usually the worst and most horrible time for me. I was not happy we were going but….plans fell through for the mother’s day picnic at the park (it was cold) so there we were. And my son was not bouncing and whacking himself into walls because of over-stimulation. He was appropriate he sat at the computer with DH and played games, he sat for his dinner! Afterwards we got in the car and went for a drive. DH and I were talking and dh being a Dr had done some research on the fish oil the night before. Apparently there are several medical studies that support the fish oil helping our son. We both talked about how his behaviors were outside of his control. We know that now, I mean we felt it before but it was frustrating, but seeing the night and day difference we realized that he honestly could not help the way he was behaving-that it was chemical/physical and not anger or his choosing to be “bad.” I know we have more work to do but I feel for the first time that now we can work with him, that we have uncovered a little bit of what can unlock the greatness he has inside. Today so far he has been an angel….I am crying just typing this. I have never been around the Everett who could control his behavior. Some things have helped him but NOTHING like this, I mean OT/PT has worked miracles but not even close to what this has done for him-not even in the same ball park! 🙂

I’m now giving this oil to all of my children (exeption of baby Gabriel) and taking it myself :).

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I’ve got cute kids and pictures to prove it!

Posted by footstepsonmyheart on May 10, 2009

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We think Spring has finally arrived which means for a happier Everett and mommy. P5080513

We spent the afternoon at the park while Mickey was in Gymnastics then a thunderstorm hit.

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Gabriel talking to the books at Barnes and Noble-seriously he was going crazy over them 🙂 it was so sweet.

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Cady’s debut reading of her prize winning story at Barnes and Noble (go Cady!)

Poor Mickey missed out on the picture taking-tomorrow I’m going to track the girl down :), she’s too crazy busy for all of us.

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James getting Gabriel laughing, he is the sweetest baby!

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I’ve got good news :)!!!

Posted by footstepsonmyheart on May 6, 2009

Well whatever Everett is going through right now landed him right into special Pre-K program :). Okay I have to see the bright side of this otherwise I may loose it….I wish we knew what it was causing his sensory issues to overload. It isn’t JUST baby Gabriel. He is out of control, none of my parenting skills touch this behavior. The only thing that relaxes him and stops behavior is “squishy” which is me giving him deep sensory massage while he lies on his belly-something we have done this week countless times. Also what is great is that he is asking for “squishy” when he is overwhelmed.Problem is that he immediately returns to behavior when he is done with getting his deep sensory input.

I am ordering a neoprene vest, praying this helps. I’ve talked with several parents of sensory kids and ALL of them have told me 3 years was the worst. He also has a duel flag possible diagnosis of ADHD which doesn’t surprise me. (we had a full psych eval today-it went wonderful which means he has some HUGE acting out issues that qualify him for special pre-k.) This all started in March, we had some regression but since Gabriel came home it has progressed to major sensory out of control behavior when we are out in public. Life has been interesting….

We had a 3 hour Dr appointment with Mikayla this week, it is for her sports injuries….gah dont’ get me started about that, not happy about gymnastics at the moment but she lives breathes and will “die” without it. Anyway our sitter cancelled 10 minutes before the appointment. I knew taking Everett was too much. I took chewies with me (sanctioned candy in the form of “fruit snacks” they are my last resort) that got us through 3 minutes. I am not exaggerating. Nothing I normally did with him worked. Now mind you this is in the waiting room. I am not kidding when I say he is out of control. He is a danger to himself, to me, to those around him, to the furniture….it is NOT my son but this is how he is acting. So I ended up sitting on the floor with him holding him while he hit and kicked me. The baby sleeping in his car seat a room full of people staring at me and my son like we were both insane. 3 hours later we had some brief moments of normal, some squishy times, but mostly acting out. I had to speak with M’s dr and he actually yelled at E man. Which really pissed me off considering #1 yelling doesn’t do anything for Everett but make it worse, I know this because I am not a perfect mother and have occasionally lost it and yelled at mo son…and #2 basically it makes his behavior worse. #3 NOBODY yells at my kids!!! Consequences and time outs are what has worked for him in the past, also bribery. But nothing is working for him right now. And Dr yelling at my son because he was screaming his lungs out did absolutely nothing to help the situation other then piss me off. So we will not be returning to this Dr and I’m fairly certain he will be happy to know this as well.

At home he is okay other then the getting into things which to be honest has always been my E man and our house is old, not an open floor plan, way too big and with a baby around he has too many opportunities to sneak away and get into things and make messes-that is okay, I can live with that. He is never without supervision for more then 5 minutes, honestly he can’t handle it, and my house is 100%  childproofed so…..while it is driving me a little crazy he is happy, he is not throwing his body around and crashing into objects, he is not hitting, kicking, screaming, crying……he is just Everett who is more sneaky then he used to be about getting into things and making messes. I spent a fortune on some more sensory tactile toys and we are rotating them, this seems to be helping (a little :)) I’ll take what I can get. Its out in public Anyway this pre-K is the best news we have received in a long long long time. E man needs some help, I need a BREAK!!!

Also good news is that Gabriel is the absolute easiest baby possibly on the planet earth. God knew what he was doing :). He is so easy to smile-he really is an “angel” I LOVE that his name suits him. He even laughs in his sleep. Jams and I find ourselves staring at him all night long.

I better go, E is sleeping but I need to wake up up so he’ll sleep tonight. I will maybe write about our psych eval….it was truthfully a nightmare and now I can be happy about how it turned out but when I got in the car (had to be helped to the car, 2nd time in a week) I cried my eyes out. This is the 3rd time I have cried my eyes out this week becaue of E. I usually try not to do it in front of him….anyway really better g

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In the past three days….

Posted by footstepsonmyheart on May 2, 2009

My baby laughed for the first time, a real deep down gorgeous giggle, so beautiful it almost makes up for the fact that his coming had brought out Everett’s inner demon child….Lorie you are so not alone :). I keep thinking, it will pass, it will get better….and it HAS to. I mean this was not the little man I had before so he will come back to me. So in the past 3 days Everett has done just about everything he can possibly imagine to do to test my patience.

1. We had to be walked out of OT/PT because his therapist felt he was a danger to himself, I won’t go into detail too much but honestly this was not our finest of moments.

2. He dumped an entire bottle of formula (the giant ones) into the “Twister” game box while I was out of the kitchen for no more then 1 minute.

3. Sprayed out an entire bottle of sunscreen onto the window and fingerpainted with it (all in 3 minutes flat if not less time), dumped his cereal on the floor and crunched it with his feet then dumped water on it so that it made a lovely paste and fingerpainted. Really I’m not kidding I am DOING tactile sensory things with him-WAY MORE then I usually do. I have NO FREAKING idea why he is acting out like this. Then he helped me clean this up and guess what. He somehow managed to get the cereal box out only this time it wasn’t a bowl of cereal-he dumped the entire freaking box on the floor and pasted it the same exact way. This time instead of letting him help me clean up I sent him to his room-which he destroyed. I then removed items he destroyed, one was a favorite book he ripped up, and his fan that he loves to have blow on him he knocked to the floor. He proceeded to kick his feet on the door for 3o more minutes. He also had totally seperate TWO, TWO hour tantrums because he wanted to eat snacks intstead of breakfast/dinner….I’m exhausted.

4. He hit, kicked, AND THIS IS A FIRST, bit me while I tried to get him into the car. This was immediatly after he ran away from me and proceeded to kick an electric box – trying his best to injure himself (long, long story). We were at a womens’ house….and I didn’t know her but to meet her the day of his wonderous performance, and this running away/trying to electrocute himself was after he overturned her train table, threw trains at me and the baby and the women….who btw had me come over so she could”help” and give me advice with getting him into his special need pre-K. He obviously proved he needs this :).

5. Pediatrician advised me TWICE to put him on ADHD medication…..HE’S 3 FREAKING YEARS OLD!!! I love his Pediatrician (and we weren’t even seeing her for Everett he just decided to put on his best demon performance for her and did things I have NEVER seen him do!) Basically he was psycho…..this week….and I’m not joking or exagerating. Grrrrrrr did something take over my son????

These extreme behaviors are not typical of him-they were somewhat present before and still some of his messy stuff that he does is typical but the hitting, kicking, and demon child are NOT. Some of the acting out started BEFORE baby. He is having allergy issues big time and on SEVERAL medications…I know this affects him. He is also not sleeping much due to dht meds and I KNOW the steroids make him psycho-hey they made me psycho.

oh and thank the LORD the baby is an angel….anyway I don’t have more time to write other then life is good I’m not complaining I’m VENTING because I am worried. This is NOT my son! Where did he go, will he come back? I will love him no matter what he does, but boy is he giving me a run right now. Is this normal jealousy? Monday my job is to find a child psychiatrist and over my dead body am I medicating my 3 year old btw….just wanted to make that clear cause I’m not sure if I did above. But I can’t sit by and not do anything and my parenting skills are to the limit. I picked up a Thomas train bed (I hate it but he’s wanted one FOREVER….and it’s “recycled” from Craigslist so I’m not killing the enviornment :)) Anyway we are having him “earn” this with good behavior. Filling a jar with cotton balls. I’m doing 1-2-3 magic and pulling out EVERY single arsenal of sensory knowledge I have. His OT/PT is baffled. He was starting this BEFORE baby but it has escalated since he has come….do you hear my worry? I need to stop. I just want him to be okay, to be able to make it to school without dying…….I know being overly dramatic. I want what every parent wants for him to succeed in life. I believe he will but this is not going to be easy…Everett I love you baby boy…I won’t give up, I promise.

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