My back was progressing well. 2 trips to the chiropractor before we left and I was feeling almost normal. One day spent at Universal and I am back to square one….but it was worth it :). DH and I were like two little kids. He’s a wimp when it comes to the scary stuff. I was raised with 4 brothers and maybe that is why I always did things most people didn’t want to do, couldn’t admit my weakness and loose my place as the one in charge of 4 boisterous boys. Anyway it was fun but I am paying for it now.
I finished another book (sort of) I found this one hard to read because it was written in movie script form and not that it wasn’t well written, I prefer regular prose and dialogue and found it hard to really get into. So I read/skimmed Monster by Walter Meyers. The story written from a young African American boy’s POV who is standing trial facing a lengthy sentence if he convicted. There is some ambivalence as to if he committed the crime or not, but in my mind he didn’t. Not sure…still for sure what his involvement was. I think this was done on purpose by the author. The young man is writing as a form of therapy which I can relate to but that is the extent of it for me, everything else took me quite out of the comfort of my world. The book is set in Harlem, Prison, and in the court room. The line that affected me most was this (said by his defense attorney) “You’re young, you’re black, and you’re on trial. What else do they need to know?” That one line made me want to vomit….thinking that if one day someone looks at my son and…. I finished the book on Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Fitting, and not on purpose sort of just happened that way. Then the following day President Obama was sworn in. I am hopeful by the time my almost 3 year old is seen as a young black man there will be more and more people in the world that see him as an individual and judge him based on his actions, who he is, rather then by what they think based on his skin color.
I also read the 2nd in the series by Libba Bray: Fallen Angels. I like this series because #1 its fun to read and #2 there is enough “girl power” in there to make me feel good. Its also very real….but fantasy. The characters are believable and deal with real life problems. All of the girls fight the rigid rules and expectations placed on them because they are women…I love that. She is sneaky about it, so its not like you are being preached to. I don’t have a favorite quote because I just read, an almost guilty pleasure read.
I talked to my mom today who is lovingly caring for our children. Cady is involved in a drama competition tonight and I am sick we are missing. Everett is giving my mom a run. I think we will pay for our time apart, I can’t wait to see him. Even Molly the St. Bernard is misbehaving in our absence. Mikalya seems to be the one keeping it together and then I hear this from my mom today ‘Mikayla is reading Twilight.’ I know I am a total hypocrite. Given the strict nature of my faith I struggle with reading literature that has sex/swearing/drugs in it. Twilight contains little of these things. Still….I would almost rather have my impressionable 12 year old read something others would call ‘dirty’ then have her think this is the way relationships would work. I don’t like to limit what she reads specifically if I have read it. My mother has also read the Twilight series and we have discussed these things. I know she LOVED the series a much as I died because she owns it. I also know she didn’t want me to read it….or she would have recommended it to me. Maybe its because my daughter is 12 maybe I would never want her to read the books .
I haven’t not allowed my girls to own Barbie’s but I have never encouraged it. Nobody I know grew up to look liken a barbie doll. I don’t own Disney Princess movies aside from Little Mermaid (because I find it funny and love the music)…early on I was reading Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty to my 2 year old Mikayla and thought “this is crap” and I won’t feed it to my little girl. So I made up my own versions of the stories for her and delivered it along with the pictures. One where Cinderella had a life outside of Prince Charming,. she didn’t get rescued anymore then she rescued him and they did not “live happily ever after” they had to work at life and their relationship.
I loved my little girls to be and act like princesses, but not in the sense of a fairy tale. I’d believed the hype and while I was rather emtionally inept I was not the type of girl who was suppoed to marry at 19 years old get pregnant a few months after only to discover the man was abusive. Yet it happened to me. I was totally naive. I was strong, thankfully, even though it was hard and even though it almost destroyed me- I was able to leave that relationship. There was no way my little girl was going to think a man would solve her world. I continued with this with Cady. So what do I do? I didn’t think she would want to read this book, stupid, as every 12-30+ year old women is reading this series. And stupidly I LOVE these books!!! I know…hypocrite. My mom told me she already explained to her. My mother is more horrified that a teenage boy and girl are spending every night together in bed, even if there is nothing going on. She thinks that it gives young minds the wrong ideas. I agree, but for very different reasons. The hard and cold truth is that you can’t protect your daughters from this idea that your worth is based on a relationship with a fabulous boy. I can’t rewrite this vampire fairy tale for her. At some point you have to hope they can figure it out on their own… I plan on discussing the book with her at length and she will NOT be reading the final 2 books before she is 15, they are above her maturity level in my opinion.
Still no word on a baby girl 😦 . Our SW has discussed us being open to either sex. Dh is all for this, I would be if on a spiritual level I had not felt this baby is a girl. I can’t imagine how insane this sounds but I knew Everett was a boy, I knew he was the child I had been waiting for all those years when I first saw him smiling and reaching for me in his little walker.
James should be back soon with our dinner….today I made him take me to the beach and we walked (I hobbled) and froze, its unusually cold. I love the salt water smell and the sound of waves. When we lived in the Caribbean each morning I walked with my dog on a secluded beach the turtles came to lay their eggs. He would chase sand crabs and try to catch the vervet Monkeys while the sun came up. I plan on posting a picture of that beach when I get home along with the story of our island dog and a little of our life there. I cried today, I always miss that simple life. But Florida is NOT the isolated beach….and I am sorry to be so negative but the towering building on this beach and horrid hotels/condos should be illegal. I wish we had more time to search and try and find some untouched beauty (there has to be some left in Florida?) That is the Wyoming girl in me. So I’m in a hotel room…had a wonderful time, really I did, and ready to go home and see my children. Hoping Cady rocks the competition tonight, I’m sure she will. “break a leg-my love.”
Oh last night we froze and ate dinner at Sea World (they kept part of the park opened for the Veterinarians!) We went to the carnival part after I drove James mad by staring at the only animal exhibit open for an hour (the beluga whales-I could watch them for days). So we ended up getting several cheap stuffed animals…one is bigger then I am, a cheap guitar, and some light up necklace. Didn’t I tell you we were like 2 big kids? Well the worst part is that we didn’t actually win 3 out of the 5 prizes. Dh said I batted my eyelashes and they gave me stuff. So not true, but I think that this is how they get people to play these games. I really wanted a light up necklace, why? Because I suck at these games. Dh is oh so cute, at 6’7″ one would assume his athletic ability was a given. However, he was a band nerd and lived for jazz music and the trombone rather then basketball. Finally the guy felt sorry for me and slid me a necklace on the sly. Then we went to the ring toss and somebody got one on the bottle, it wasn’t us. I smiled, pointed it out, and he hands me a giant stuffed dog bigger then my body, I explained it wasn’t me…no matter. You see how these things work? Then we got 2 abominable snow men and a guitar. Dh said I had to stand next to him from then on out and smile and be “cute”. 🙂 I have no idea how we will get it all home. I’m thinking the people who clean the room may enjoy our spoils. Then we had a private viewing of “Shamu Rocks” I love these things-okay-Sea World is my favorite park of all time. We spent our time at Universal and while I loved it, and it was great, this is my thing. A year after my brother died we came to Sea World as part of our family vacation (one year to the day). I spent the entire time at this horrible Dolphin pool-I hate zoos, I always have, I do believe they help in conservation but I have never liked watching any caged wild animal, still I am facinated by them even it makes me sad. Most of Sea World does not make me feel sad, instead I felt happy to watch the amazing shows and other things. This Dolphin pool was not a happy scene, they have much improved since this visit, when they fed the Dolphins I purchased fish and fed them. In between I tried to get them used to me by standing very still with my hand in the water, hoping ot make friends. My mom and family gave up on me and left me there-I think I spent 6 hours there. I was mostly numb emotional time in my life, there were very few moments I let any guard down. Not once did a Dolphin come and say “hi” to me…as I had hoped unless I was feeding them but there was one who swam very close to me several times….and for whatever reason I was able to cry-not much-but a little. After that trip I started my path of healing, rather then being kept numb all of the time. I always felt it was this experience that helped me come out of it. So I love Sea World and always will.